You Go, I Go
by FranticNonsense
Summary: "I know you can't tell me about whatever happened back when…" Her breath stilled as her mind flashed to small, bloody hands and flowers dancing in the breeze. "…Just don't lie to me."


"You were leavin'."

Carol glanced over—those were the first words he'd said since their pursuit of the mystery car with the white cross. They'd both been focused on trailing it, and it seemed he was now open for discussion.

She wasn't yet, though.

"I told you…I didn't know what I was doing."

"I know you can't tell me about whatever happened back when…" Her breath stilled as her mind flashed to small, bloody hands and flowers dancing in the breeze. "…Just don't lie to me."

His voice was hurt, and now her stomach dropped even farther in guilt.

"I swear to you, I'm not lying." She whispered, looking anywhere but him. When his eyes flashed to hers, they only portrayed the betrayal lurking behind. "I don't know how I feel and I don't know what's to come."

"Told you. We get to start over." His previous words echoed between them. "You're a part of the group. No matter what happens, ya always will be."

"And what if I was a Terminus cannibal? What if I put Judith down because I thought that would be better than bringing her up in this hellish nightmare?"

"You'd never do that." He said with conviction.

"No, but there are lines that once you cross, you can't come back." She said while looking straight at him. She turned away as the doubt mixed into her voice again. "And I don't know where those lines are anymore."

"Hey." His hand found hers in the dark and held tight when her instinct said to pull away from unknown contact. "We've all seen our fair share of shit. Ain't nobody's hands clean." At her silence, he continued.

"Everything you do is for us. You've made tough calls and made 'em quick. Without you, Glenn, Rick, Bob, and I'd be roastin' on a human sized barbeque right now."

"That was just luck-"

"_No."_ He squeezed her hand. "That was _you. _You blew that place sky high and gave us a chance. You've earned your place. Even before that, you've always had a place. Anyone who says otherwise, gotta talk to me."

"…I killed Lizzie."

He'd almost slammed the breaks. He'd almost whipped his head towards her in disbelief. He'd almost swerved off the road—

Instead, he gave another comforting squeeze and let out a long breath, allowing her to finally get whatever she needed off her chest.

"I'd found Tyreese with Judith, Lizzie, and Mika after the prison walls were breeched… We found a little place—it was perfect. For us, at least." Her eyes started to tear and her voice had a bit of a wobble. She pulled herself together and continued. "Lizzie never understood the difference between us and the Walkers. No matter how many times I tried…She saw them as people. Just sick, misunderstood people." Her words were beginning to sound hollow as the painful memory started to fill every last inch of her mind.

"Me and Tyreese got back from a water run…Mika was on the ground…Her throat was cut." Daryl thought his blood turned to ice once the reality of the situation hit him. His stomach felt like acid when he imagined the horror that Carol must've felt, finding them in the situation that she did. His hand never left hers as his thumb ran over her knuckles.

Her breathing got heavy as she tried to go on. "She was about to…To turn _Judith."_ She gasped into her free hand. "She was never going to understand. She couldn't be near the baby. She couldn't be near people. I couldn't send her off on her own and I couldn't… I couldn't…" She started to sob harshly into her hand, all of the crippling sadness and the emotional burden of the situation came flooding back full force as she could hear her own voice repeating over and over in her head.

_Just look at the flowers, Lizzie._

_BAM_

Daryl slowed the car to a stop and pulled her towards him in an embrace for the second time in the last two days. This time, her tears coated his torso as her hands gripped into his jacket and her body shook with every last detail of the Grove pummeling through her mind.

His hand cradled the back of her head as she continued crying. He didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say? He knew she had done what needed to be done, and she knew that as well. It didn't make the situation any better. It didn't make the pain of the choice go away.

He suddenly found the words, he had to say _something dammit._ "It don't change who you are, Carol. That was you, but it _ain't you."_

"If the others knew, they wouldn't want me there." She said with certainty.

"Don't Ty know?"

"He was there. He knew Lizzie was sick."

"He knows about Karen and David. Knows about the girls. I heard him talking to Rick—he's got your back a hundred percent."

"Nobody else will understand."

"Hey." His hands went to her cheeks and he looked her in the eyes. Between fighting Terminus, holding onto the past for so long, and this sudden release, her normally determined orbs were _exhausted._

"It don't matter what anyone thinks. You did what you had to do. Either they accept it, or get the Hell over it. Rick and Ty- they won't give 'em another choice. _I _won't give them another choice."

Her hands held onto his as she buried her face into his shoulder. He waited for her to say something, anything. He continued since she still seemed to be fighting the decision to leave.

"We need ya…I need ya." He pleaded. "Can't lose ya anymore. You go, I go. And you know I'll track your ass if you leave in the middle of the night again."

She gave the tiniest laugh at that, a chuckle, and his heart beat faster. He'd missed that laugh _so much._

She looked into face again and, through all the pain and reminiscence, she smiled.

And damn him, if it wasn't the most gorgeous sight he'd seen in a long time.

"…We gotta find Beth." Carol voiced, pulling away as he snapped back to the situation and shifted the car into drive again, following the trail.

Her hand found his hand on the steering wheel and she laced her fingers through his. Daryl's face twitched into a smile as he glanced over at her. Her voice became strong and driven, _Hell he'd missed that too,_ as she said "We have to bring her back home. We have to keep our family together."

He nodded. "Together." _Won't let it be any other way._


End file.
